F ZINE People Cam: Gen Z Dating Culture Edition
Dating in the digital age is tough, and Gen Z has plenty of feelings about it. From situationships, the three-month-rule, to dating app fatigue — we hit the streets of Singapore to hear what they have to say about dating culture.
Situationships? The three-month-rule? Dating app fatigue? A new generation means new rules when it comes to dating. With new government roll-outs to help Gen Z find ‘the one’ and the rise of singles mixers meant to curate your search for love — how are these shaping the dating landscape for Gen Z today?
From dating expectations and icks, to their thoughts on Gen Z dating culture, here’s what youths in Singapore have to say about dating culture.
Name: Yixin
Occupation: Student
Age: 20
Something unique about Gen Z dating culture: “The whole concept of a talking stage and situationship is quite unique to Gen Z. I feel like a lot of millennials find it baffling that this kind of thing even exists.”
How long she would wait to ‘hard launch’ her partner: “For me, I would tell my mom immediately because I treat my mom like my friend, so if there’s anything going on in my life, she’ll be the first to know. Maybe my close friends too. I would consult them if I need any opinions. For people that I’m not so close to, I would take as much time as I need.”
A dating practice from her parents’ generation that should be continued today: “I feel like during my parents’ time, a lot of them met more organically, and it was because back then there weren’t dating apps, so in my personal opinion, maybe back then the encounters [were] more natural and genuine...When people met new people, it was more genuine and authentic.”
Name: Justin Chen
Occupation: Credit Analyst
Age: 29
What does Gen Z expect from relationships today? “I think emotional connection is a common topic I see with my friends. They’ve kind of established that looks are not as important as establishing a common connection and emotional relatability.”
His expectations when it comes to dating: “My partner has to be interested in what I have to say as well. It’s kind of a balance where you both are interested in each other, and you both have the same family goals, the same life goals as well.”
How long he would wait to ‘hard launch’ his partner: “For me, it’s very long, I think, six months to a year, at least. I think many will be willing to launch it a bit earlier, like maybe three to six months, but I will take my time with it.”
A dating practice from her parents’ generation that should be continued today: “Loyalty. My parents are quite tight, so even throughout the years, even when they are not physically attracted to one another, they still care about each other through their words of affirmation and the things that they do – and I want to emulate that in my relationship.”
Name: Tiffany
Occupation: Student
Age: 20
Her expectations when it comes to dating: “For me, someone who's very meaningful in their actions – do you keep me in the back of your mind when you do things?”
A dating practice from her parents’ generation that should be continued today: “When the guy pursues the girl and asks her parents for permission to pursue her – I feel like that’s very romantic and very cute.”
They’re a 10 but they don’t plan dates: “A five for me. We can both do planning together, so I take some, you take some, but you can’t do nothing.”
Name: Iffah
Occupation: Student
Age: 19
What does Gen Z expect from relationships today? “The connection. I would love to have someone that I can connect with, and have deep talks with without getting judged – and just be understood.”
Something unique about Gen Z dating culture: “The talking stage. I feel like if you know that you’re interested, then that’s it! You don’t have to be like, “Oh, I’m waiting to see where this goes.” If you’re interested, just let each other know and be open about it.”
How long she would wait to ‘hard launch’ her partner: “It really depends, but I don’t think I would wait too long, because, if I really like my person, I would want to show that we’re out doing this – it’s also a nice thing to appreciate him.”
They’re a 10 but they don’t believe in dressing up, even for special occasions: “For me, I’ll say five. I think dressing up is part of the first impression and your branding. So I would say it’s important.”
Name: Giselle
Occupation: Student
Age: 20
What’s the difference between ‘dating’ and a ‘situationship? “I feel like dating is when you’re more exclusive to someone, compared to a situationship where even though you’re talking to someone, it’s not really exclusive, so dating gives that security that it’s just the two of you.”
How long she would wait to ‘hard launch’ her partner: “Personally, if I’m talking to anyone, I would tell my parents straight away. But to the public, I’ll take as long as I need, so five to six months at least, after we’ve started dating.”
What does Gen Z expect from relationships today? “I expect nothing but love, happiness and support.”
Name: Isa
Occupation: National serviceman
Age: 21
His expectations when it comes to dating: “I feel like one of the most important things that I would look out for is reciprocation. Let’s say if I plan the first date, and then I see some initiative that she wants to go somewhere as well, and then she asks me to go along with her – I feel like that’s good. There’s effort from both sides. That’s one of the things that I would look out for, and I would expect.”
Something unique about Gen Z dating culture: “There are a lot of rules that pop up, like the ‘three-month rule.’ But I feel like it’s not really necessary for you guys to follow these rules, because we all experience love in different ways, so you shouldn’t let these rules and things you hear online affect how you view love.”
A dating practice from her parents’ generation that should be continued today: “I feel like the best way to meet a person is still organically, because when you are in person together, you get to know them the best. It’s very difficult to pick up on certain cues when you’re just talking online, and then when you meet up in-person, they can feel like a whole different person, because you don’t know how it’s like to talk to them before meeting them in real life. So meeting organically is still the best. I feel like we should keep that and bring it to our own generation.”
They’re a 10 but they refuse to post you on any of their social media: “I feel like this depends on your relationship dynamic and how you guys are handling the relationship. But if both of you are people who are active on social media and they refuse to post you… I feel like something’s up with that, so that’s probably a four or a three – but then again, it’s also situational.”
Name: Leanne
Occupation: Student
Age: 20
Something unique about Gen Z dating culture: “I think we read into text messages a lot. Even a full stop or capital letters change the meaning of the text.”
What does Gen Z expect from relationships today? “Constant replies. Not me, I understand if you’re busy and stuff, but I just need assurance. But I feel a lot of people these days really want constant replies.”
They’re a 10 but they refuse to post you on any of their social media: “I don’t know why he’s refusing, but a three. If you’re refusing, that means you’re trying to hide something. But why are you hiding me? Shouldn’t you be proud of me?”
Name: Chloe
Occupation: Student
Age: 20
What does Gen Z expect from relationships today? “A lot of social media, a lot of posting, a lot of letting people who aren’t necessarily important to me know that there is someone else in my life.”
Her expectations when it comes to dating: “Just keep me in the loop. Talk to me about your day, just communicate a lot. I value communication a lot.”
Something unique about Gen Z dating culture: “I think there’s a lot of emphasis on 24/7 texting. For example, if he hasn’t replied in 10 minutes, “Why hasn’t he replied? Does he not like me? Does he hate me?” I think we should stay off our phones a bit more.”
They’re a 10 but they don’t read the news: “I think a four. I think you should always keep up with base-level news.”
Name: Darius
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
How long he would wait to ‘hard launch’ his partner: “I think you should wait at least three months. You’ve got to see whether it can last for three months first.”
Something unique about Gen Z dating culture: “Situationships. We have messaging apps now, so a lot of people don’t take things seriously anymore.”
A dating practice from her parents’ generation that should be continued today: “I guess meeting in person more, instead of just dating online.”